Review of Grand Palladium Lady Hamilton, Jamaica.

So it has taken me a while to write this review. My family and I spent Christmas in Jamaica this year and we had a GREAT time, the weather was great, the countryside beautiful, the Jamaican people are incredible, but my review of Grand Palladium is not glowing. The Grand Palladium is made up of two sides, Montego Bay and Lady Hamilton, both sides shares all resources, facilities, beaches etc. There were many problems that we experienced and I wanted to wait before I wrote it all down just to have a bit of a “cooling off period.” So to start on a positive note I will share the Good of Grand Palladium Lady Hamilton.

Good.

Sunset Cove Beach, this is the charming beach that is away from all the main restaurants and pool. The beach is beautiful, there is a fantastic Jerk Hut that makes probably the best food at the resort. The service in the beach bar was excellent. Cool music played on the beach, nice mix of activities, mellow, all good. This would be the absolute selling point of this resort for me, in fact, after speaking with several guests, they all agreed that without this special part of the resort, their holiday just would not have been the same. What is also wonderful about this beach is the plentiful shade and multiple loungers.

People of Palladium, these are the animation staff. They have endless energy and are wonderful. One in particular “Avitar” was just such a spectacular human being, the resort is lucky to have her.

Lifeguards, Groundsmen, cleaning staff, these cool, friendly background workers were not overwhelmed like the serving staff so had the Jamaican hospitality down. When my son stepped on a sea urchin, the lifeguards were professional, helpful and caring. The guy that cleaned Sunset cove each morning is a gem.

The Infinity Bar, groovy live music, good drinks. We hung out here most evenings and loved it. Here is a picture of one round of cocktails. The cocktails here are awesome, but if you want wine that doesn’t taste like paint thinner, you are going to pay $30 for a basic bottle of plonk. One night they had a fun “Back to the 80’s” party that was a blast. They fun was greatly due to the work of the Jamaican animation staff who are unbelievable, teaching water aerobics at 0900 and dancing until the wee hours of the morning. Thank you guys.

Grounds,  It is a sprawling estate with lots of tropical flowers and fruits, beautiful. The architecture of the resort it lovely. It is extremely visually appealing. Pictured left is the view from our room, not ocean view but still lovely.

Bad.

Okay, so here we go. Since I am a travel writer I always let a hotel know I am coming. I don’t want to spring a review on a hotel without warning, in my opinion its a professional courtesy. So, these guys knew I was coming. On arrival I was presented with our rooms. We were actually booked in at the Grand Palladium Montego Bay . We were presented with two rooms in block 18 near the main road. I was stunned! I had booked with Air Canada Vacations so we are supposed to get premium rooms, I had requested good rooms that were connecting and got nothing. After much begging, arguing and complaining I paid an additional $40 a night and upgraded to be on the Lady Hamilton side of the resort. This side all the rooms are recently renovated. I had to make do with two rooms with a King Bed and a Pull out coach because no rooms with two beds were available and no connecting rooms were available either. I was not happy but went to the room. (view from balcony picture above)

I asked housekeeping to make up the pull out couch, we returned from Dinner and the bed was made but it was literally as hard as a rock, you might as well sleep on a tile floor. I called reception, complained and they brought padding, it was a bit better but not much. We were exhausted from an early start so went to bed early. As I got into bed, I noticed the sheet was not big enough for the bed (it was a double sheet on a king bed and they had used two to cover the middle of the bed, “what the hell!”, I thought and went to bed

All night I felt the bare mattress sticking to my body! I was up at 6:00 AM and went to reception, explaining the sheets were not big enough for the bed, they looked at me like I was a lunatic. Anyway, they promised they would look into it. I also asked if there was anyway I could get a room for my kids with two beds so my daughter wouldn’t have to sleep on the rock bed, They found rooms for us that were facing the Spa, so if you open your curtains in the morning you will see all the people working out, UGH, no thanks,  just bring more padding for my daughter and please, King size sheets. I also wrote an email to the customer service rep and manager to complain and they basically said, sorry to hear you are not happy, if we can do anything else just let us know…. really?

So guess what, this is my bed after the second night…. I pulled the sheet straight for the picture but I basically spent the night on a bare mattress AGAIN.

I actually took the photos not for the blog but to go show reception what we were dealing with. (my kids room also had this problem) This time she looked at me like I was NOT a lunatic (photos help) and said that a machine was broken and the resort did not have enough sheets. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

I went back to my room and saw a very official looking lady names Althea, I believe she is somehow a supervisor in housekeeping and begged her, I mean literally begged her to get me sheets from somewhere as I was exhausted from two nights of sleeping on a damn bare mattress!  Althea and my housekeeper did what they could for me, but let me say this. If you want good quality sleep this is not the resort for you. No one should have to beg for sheets, I have stayed in youth hostels, 3 star hotels in Africa, gone camping and never had this problem.

Anyway, enough of the beds. You get it they suck and if you have a problem, good luck with a timely resolution.

Line lines lines, everywhere you go, want breakfast, wait in line to get inside the buffet restaurant, want a drink, wait your turn, need anything? Be ready to wait. I can honestly say that after staying at in excess of 50 All inclusive hotels I have never experienced line ups like the ones at the Grand Palladium. Guest got angry waiting and the vibe was unpleasant. The a la cart situation was actually a horror show, angry people were waiting for hours and it was just an unpleasant thing to see on holiday.  We stayed at the Grand Sirenas, in Mayan Riviera the same period (over New Year) at it was nothing like this.

We were so tired of the lines, that we were going to breakfast as it opened at 8:00 AM, in the morning. By 9:00 AM the buffet would have a lineup out the door to get a table. The problem was not the capacity of the resturant but that there was not enough hostess’ to seat guests. We wondered why they didn’t just allow guests to seat themselves, but as it was my holiday I just kept my mouth shut and enjoyed my time with my family.

Slow Service in the a la carte restaurants, consistent with the above comment, once your got into an a la carte restaurant be prepared to wait, wait, wait for your food. We really enjoyed the family time but it took almost an hour for our food to come on Christmas night.

Management? The front line workers did their best, Vanessa, from reception, kept calling me to check on me, as she knew I was not happy with the room/bed situation, but really what could she do about the line ups and overcrowding, this is a Management problem and I was there for some downtime, not to complain about issues that could not be fixed immediately.  It was the same for the poor waitstaff and bar tenders, they were working so hard to keep up with the literally thousands of people that were at the resort but they were totally overwhelmed I don’t think they could have possibly worked any harder.  What annoyed us most of all is that the timeshare sales people and spa sales people literally accosted you every time we walked past, Management had no problem staffing these money makers properly but we couldn’t get anything else with out waiting, waiting, waiting. Please Management, staff the restaurants and bars properly to avoid line ups, particular in the buffet where there were always empty tables and people lining up out the door.

Overall Impression.

I have stayed at well over 10 hotels in Jamaica, all the Sandals except Whitehouse, Iberostar Grand Rose Hall, Couples Sans Souci (where I got married), Holiday Inn Sunsplash, Jamaica Grande and Half Moon, so I know this is not typical for the destination. I would say the Grand Palladium just didn’t deliver on providing a hassle free vacation for my family. There were so many good points but the drama with the rock hard bed, tiny sheets and line ups were enough for me to not recommend this property. To be fair, I wonder what it would be like in a quieter season, but vacation time is so precious, why would you gamble your time for a bad nights sleep and lots of lineups.

I would say that the resort was completely overwhelmed and unable to provide a level of service that is expected in the 4-5 star all-Inclusive space. I write this negative review in hope that Management looks at its delivery of services because the bones of the resort are there.